My mom keeps asking me when I’m seeing you. She keeps going, “what about Justin, the korean boy? How come you haven’t seen him since you’ve been back?” Out of all my friends, you were one of her favorites. I can’t answer her - I just keep saying that we kinda grew apart. Funny how this all works out, isn’t it? Twisted. I wish we could be friends again. I want to say something to you, but I don’t know how. I don’t know what you feel or think about me right now. The one in my head that always pops up is just you crossing me out of your life forever and being mad and bitter at me and thinking I’m a shithole. I…can imagine it turning out well and you wanting to be friends with me, but I think that’d only be possible in my dreams. You do pop up in those a lot. Sigh. Fuck.

I hope you had a good birthday!

How was yesterday? Damn you’re old now haha. Winter break is coming - there’s so much I want to tell you about! Am I allowed to attempt to contact you again? Sigh its been tough without you. I’ve lost my best friend, someone who I could talk to about anything and everything with. I shared pretty much everything with you, and now I share nothing with you. I can’t, though I want to. And I want to know how you’ve been doing too! But considering how little you shared when we were together, I could hardly expect more now… Sigh but I hope we can slowly start to rebuild our friendship eventually. I hope you’ve been well! Love you, Michael.

i feel like absolute fucking shit

i hate myself

i hate myself for causing justin pain

why did this have to happen

i never wanted it to end this way

i miss him SO MUCH

i miss him SOO MUCH

want to be his friend so badly

life sucks without him as my friend

im in just as much pain as he’s in

just dont like to show it

i like faking being strong

being nonchalant

it helps

its all an act

but its not true

i want to die

im so miserable

life is miserable

i got a black members only jacket

over thanksgiving break.

wishful thinking

i hope you’ve found plenty of things to do, to love, to experience.

experiences to share.

people to love.

happiness.

it’s been a while.

i hope life has been good to you! how are you doing?

made new friends? having a better time at college?

i hope so.

shall i see you winter break?

marry the night is her next single/music video!

literally all your favorite songs from BTW are singles =)

aren’t you happy?

(well on a completely technical note - it hasn’t been decided as the American single yet. Only the international one)